Eid Mubarak!

A year has passed, since I last update this blog. I am not sure if anyone is still reading this. I usually update my FB status frequently, so this blog is almost forgotten.

Its the 5th day of hari raya. I hope its not too late to wish all my dearest Muslim friends and families: Have a joyful and blessed Eid Ul-Fitri. May this Eid truly brings forgiveness to us all.

5th day... and I am already in office. I am supposed to be back on Wednesday 14th August. Tapi hati risau kekalau high workload will cause me stress later. After almost 2 years of struggling alone doing this role "ELA Contract Manager", I honestly feel super tired. Especially lepas June closing hari tu. 14 contracts for 5 different countries, to be settled in 3 days, that is insanity (though I managed to handle them well as always).

Now I am not too sure what motivates me to stay. Gaji, syukur alhamdulillah. Walau tak banyak, cukup untuk menampung keperluanku (dan mereka). Bonus tahunan sebulan gaji pun tak pernah cecah. When I stayed late in office, people thought I am making big money out of the overtime pay. Nope! I am no longer entitled for overtime - if I am not mistaken, since year 2007. That was like 6 years back! And yes, I worked hard. To me, it is called "commitment".

Lately, I think, I have done too much. A work way too much for a person. Its already August, and I still have 18.5 annual leave days and 2 replacement days plus countless time-off for working on Public Holidays, Saturdays and Sundays (which I no longer keep track). For a single person (yes, I am still single after these years), maybe being a workaholic is not a problem. But part of myself always remind me that I need a life too!

Dato' Amir dah kahwin. Syukur alhamdulillah, I heard the wife has changed him to be a better person, insyaAllah. He has always been very good to me, cuma agak garang ngan bebudak kat opis sana. Aku tak tau sampai bila dia akan terus ambil berat pasal aku. Maybe sampai aku kahwin kot. Dato' Amir, for those who doesn't know, exists in my life after allahyarham Mohd Ahsan Rosli pergi meninggalkan aku buat selamanya. Dato' Amir was his best friend and the only one he trusted most, Allahyarham pesan utk tengok2kan aku.

Cinta aku? Aku pun dah tak tau apa rasa cinta. Life has made me strong... too strong that I refuse to fall in love again. Not until a man melafazkan "aku terima nikahnya Salisa binti Salleh...". Mungkin aku dah terlalu penat untuk mencari cinta, lantas ku bernekad hanya menanti ianya tiba.

~Aku yang tak sempurna~