bila resah menggamit jiwa...

Kebelakangan ni, jiwa aku tak berapa nak tenteram. Macam2 benda yang aku fikirkan. This pain has made me a paranoid. All the symptoms I have clearly shown that I might be dealing with cancer. Too soon to predict, Salisa. But I couldn't stop thinking that those attacks might have something to do with it. I have checked my insurance coverage on Cancer, alhamdulillah it is still active. Oh ya, I need to check nama waris for my group life insurance and EPF as well. Not so much, but insyaAllah cukup untuk bayar hutang2 aku, especially kereta kesayangan aku tu.

My auntie died due to colon cancer. My husband's previous wife died because of breast cancer. My beloved husband died due to rectum cancer. My cousin has been diagnosed with early stage leukimia. Or maybe I am just being too worry. Aku risau, kalau aku sakit, aku tak susahkan sesape ke? Duduk kat spital, sape lak nak jaga makan minum Kimi?

Aku tak risaukan diri aku, sebab aku tahu setiap penyakit tu adalah ujian dariNya. Yang aku risaukan, orang2 yang disekeliling aku. Mungkin ramai yang kata, aku dah sombong sebab jarang2 join forum. Aku pun kengkadang tak jawab email, Friendster, Facebook. Aku mintak maaf bebanyak. Keadaan tak mengizinkan aku untuk buat banyak perkara.

Aku tak sempat nak jadik ibu yang baik. Aku takde zuriatku sendiri yang nak doakan aku kalau aku dah tak ada nanti. Apa2pun... aku mohon seribu kemaafan seandainya aku melakukan kesalahan terhadap kalian.

Salam Ramadhan.